wedding who knews?

Okay, so plenty of people know these things, but I am not one of those girls who spent countless hours on wedding blogs prior to being engaged. I don’t have a dream location. I had no idea what “cushion cut” meant before we went to try on rings. Planning a wedding is going to truly be an educational experience for me. Yikes. (Note- I swear, this blog isn’t going to be all wedding focused all the time, but it IS sort of the way I document my life, and right now, my life is a little bit wedding focused. I apologize in advance.)

Things we know for sure-

  1. Keep it small. Close friends and family only. I think this is going to be a hard pill for some people to swallow, but really, Colin and I aren’t looking to go into debt for this wedding and we really want to keep it as small as possible.
  2. If it doesn’t feel like us, we aren’t doing it. There won’t be engagement photos. There definitely won’t be a garter toss. We want to do our best to keep the whole process fun for both of us (and our families!)
  3. It will be fun. We want our guests to have a really good time with us. The “with us” is key here. We want to be present the whole weekend and celebrate with everyone!

That is about as far as we have gotten in this whole planning thing. So, if you know of any cheap, amazing, quirky wedding spots, please feel free to shoot them my way…

Also, is it wrong to want to plan an entire wedding around a pair of shoes? Because these seriously make my heart flutter.


This weekend I am off to NYC for a work event. I’ve REALLY enjoyed my lack of work travel the past couple of weeks, but it’s time to kick it up again! Make it a great one my friends!



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16 responses to “wedding who knews?

  1. I just got married in August. My SO and I wanted a small wedding as well. We wanted to actually spend time with the guests, not just wave hi at them at a 200 person dinner. We rented a huge house for four nights (Thurs-Sun). We were in Colorado (so summer is technically off-season and we got a discount). People could go for a hike, kayak, drive into town, or hand out and help decorate as they wanted Friday and Saturday. We cooked our own meals (pizza, fish fry and bagels for breakfast) except for the reception, which we did have catered.

    We invited close family and friends only. The house slept 50 (it really was massive). This was tricky. My SO comes from a very large extended family and many of them were not invited. Our way around it was we suggested each set of parents could do a get-together for extended family and friends if they wanted to. (My SO and I come from different states.) I had kinda thought of a small bbq or something, but the parents were a bit more extravagant. Each set of parents paid for their own party – so if they wanted to invite 125 people, fine. We called this the 3 party system. Still, I’ve heard that some extended family was still upset about not attending the wedding. You just have to decide to accept that.

    I loved having a small wedding and getting to spend so much quality time with close family and friends – the majority of whom live across the country. If not a giant house, maybe y’all could rent several smaller houses in close proximity? Or have everyone stay at the same B&B? I think having everyone really close the entire weekend made it really special.

    Um, this is crazy long. Email me with any questions!

  2. My wedding was probably the least traditional wedding on the planet, but it was 100% authentic for my husband and I, and our guests are still talking about it.

    We’re both actors- we got married in a theatre by one of our best friends who got certified online- we did our secret handshake to seal the deal, my Irish dance troupe performed, our guests made guestbook entries at a craft table, instead of favors we made donations to our favorite charities and we served Wafels & Dinges instead of a cake! We kept it cheap and our wedding gifts ended up paying for our wedding AND honeymoon.

    It is YOUR day, and there is absolutely NO obligation to include any traditions (except the one where you promise to love your best friend forever and ever).


  3. loveamy

    Congratulations! I totally understand the nontraditional and authentic route, the only reason my wedding had any traditional elements was because it was important to my parents. One insight that I thought I should share is this: I didn’t want to do engagement pictures either (how awkward and artificial), but it was free with our photographer’s package so we went with it. As it turns out, it was a great way to get comfortable in front of the camera and get to know our photog. It was not at all natural or comfortable at first to have a camera all up in my face, and I’m so glad that we had the engagement shoot as a warm up before the wedding. Even if it’s just a friend forcing you to spend an hour getting your picture taken, I encourage a photography warm up.

    Also, totally ok to plan your wedding around those shoes! The more defined your inspiration/”theme” is, the easier it is to make decisions.

  4. thats totally how we did it too. Small wedding (50 guests), old plantation house in hawaii, one big fun party! Awesome! oh and no shoes allowed….well beside flip flops

  5. did you get my first comment? ugh, was i spammed?

  6. We got married in Vegas for $199 bucks. That included cheap champagne, a limo ride to the city hall to get our marriage license, a minister with spiked hair and a tail who married us at a chapel that’s now gone out of biz, a plastic corsage and a 24 exposure disposable kodak camera. And honestly…it was just FINE! The memories and stories are priceless and so there is a way to do cheap and still make it fun and you 🙂

  7. We planned and catered our wedding on less than a thousand bucks. Let’s just say I have not made manicotti in 11 years though. We were definitely about keeping it small, personal, fun, us.

    And I say build the whole wedding around those shoes!!! Freaking awesome!

  8. Heck no, it is not wrong! Let the shoes be your inspiration!! (and you something blue to boot)🙂

    If you have any questions, or need help with anything along the way, feel free to shoot me an email. I became a certified wedding planner and coordinator a few years ago, and haven’t had time to do much with it, but enjoy helping out friends with little questions that they have etc..

    I agree that weddings should be true to who you are, and that the couple should have FUN!!! I would suggest good music and good food … that is all people care about🙂 Invitations and things like that don’t matter much to anyone and are quickly forgotten about, yet the fun that people have at the event is remembered forever.

  9. Holy crap those shoes are awesome! We did really small and personal too. Don’t laugh because we were soooo young, but our wedding cake even had Han Solo and Princess Leia on top. Seriously young. Tony’s aunts did all the food and the cake. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. While it really wasn’t all me (long story, but again, we were young), if I had to do it again, I would have it more how you are doing it. The wedding is about you two and I think people lose site of that sometimes. Really, in the end, this is your memory and your ceremony. Have a safe trip!

  10. I was the same way when I first started planning my wedding I was like whoa whoa WHOA there is so much more to it than I ever thought. I was not into the planning process at all, but I enjoy reading about others doing it🙂 The planning process for me was actually quite stressful because my mom is very traditional and there were some battles there. We had a fairly big (though pretty typical these days) wedding and that was okay with me, because I do have a big extended family and I wanted them all to be there. If I was paying for it all myself, I may have had a different opinion though.

    I will say Eric and I both agreed our top best decision during the wedding was having one of Eric’s friends do the ceremony. It was so nice to have someone who knew us up there instead of some random person.

    We also did NOT do some “traditions” like the garter + bouquet toss. If we didn’t care and my mom didn’t care, it was out haha.

  11. I think your approach is spot on, when we got married we went to Italy with just 8 people and it was perfect. Doing something that feels right for the both of you, no matter how other people may feel is the most important thing I think🙂 Enjoy all the preparations!

  12. Oh my goodness I picture you having the coolest most vintage wedding ever! I can not wait to see what you put together! I love love love (let me be clear: LOVE) weddings so talk about it all you want! They make me so happy!🙂

  13. Joseph and I had something like twelve total guests including our parents. Tip: Don’t have a wedding party. Sounds like it would be way too stressful. Vegas was low stress, gorgeous, fun AND hip for us thanks to a super modern reception dinner at a nouveau Italian restaurant’s private dining room. Anywhere can be perfect as long as it’s where you want to be.

  14. Allie

    First, I have seen and love those shoes myself. Second, I had my shoes before my dress. They actually did help to set a tone for the rest of mine and my bridesmaid wear. Plus, it was great to go dress shopping in the shoes I planned to wear. So if you love ’em, get ’em. Also, congrats!

    • Allie

      Also, I failed to mention that if you need any tips, as a long-time reader of your blog I would be happy to help. I’m only a few months ahead (began planning in Oct) and my fiancé and I are doing a-typical vintage inspired wedding at a historic inn. We are also going the if it’s not us we aren’t doing it route, which is why I am probably going w a tea length dress and our dog is the ring bearer! It’s fun to dream up these things. Good luck!

  15. Can I design my wedding around those shoes? They are adorable! Go for it!🙂

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